silly with excitement

I'm silly with excitement because school is starting again and I can’t wait to see your handsome face. I only wish we were in high school again so I could see you everyday.

With a grin on your face

You heard I was here and you turned around to search for me. With a grin on your face you find me. I feel you looking at me and my gaze falls on you my heart leaps at you being so tickled to see me. You’re getting up from your seat to get a better look but you don’t approach me you return to your spot but don’t turn back again. I stare at the back of your head contemplating your feelings for me. Wondering why you don’t speak to me. Not knowing what you’re waiting for. Once again I lift my gaze again.

Lack of Sleep Drives me Insane

It’s late and I should be sleeping but instead I'm up writing to you. My eyes sting and I can’t think strait. Just ignore whatever I say because lack of sleep drives me insane and I am bound to say crazy things like Leonardo DiCaprio is hotter than you or why can't you be as hot as Mr. Darcy. Of course I don’t mean any of those things I am under the Influence and won’t come out of it till I get some sleep. Good night I love you baby even though your ugly.

Yours Only

I have chosen to be yours only. For you I would give my life. We will become as one till the end of life. Everything I do now and in the future I do for you. My life from the beginning was not my own everything I do affects others. I want to remain yours forever.

I Know Who

I know exactly who God made for me. I just wish he had made him sooner, But I’m glad that he planned him for me and I’m sure there is a reason for this staging of his plan. God chose who when and why. So if I cooperate I’m sure I will fulfill the plan and My Future Will be as God Planned If only I will be patient.

What Will Happen

You make me bust my brains thinking about what will happen between us now.

I mustn’t speak to you too much.

I don’t talk to you because I love you. It’s Important that I keep my distance from you. You are not ready to take the responsibility of a wife. Whether or not you’re willing is beside the point. I would love to start a relationship with you now but that would be foolish. Love without commitment is like a lawn without water. Our love would wither and die like grass without rain. I love you and won’t give in to my desire, to throw myself at you because I long for your touch, no, I mustn’t speak to you too much.

Our Symphony

You are to me like beautiful music. My heart leaps as the notes sore. My soul sings along with every rhythm my feet dance in time and my hands conduct our symphony.

My internet's down but you should still get new posts for the next few day's . And hopefuly i'll be back on line by then.

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What lies behind your eyes?

I have never seen him look at me like that before, the look of deep determination. He was resolved to have his way what does that this look mean. It’s a mystery to me what lies behind your eyes. I cannot breath, I cannot breath, I m falling, please save me, tell me what you mean. Why do you look at me this way? Please reveal your intention to me.

My Gut

My minds asleep.
My eyes won’t shut.
Thoughts of you fill my gut.

Nine of Clubs

A simple girl with a boy on her mind and a pen in her hand devised a code to let her speak freely and sort through her emotions. She looked at the desk of cards next to her bed. She picked them and one by one placed them on her pillow face up looking at each individually she contemplated the meaning of each. The heart has always represented love, and the clover well that must be luck. The ace of hearts was the high card and therefore represents great love, deep love, and passionate love. She wrote Ace of hearts, and its meaning she had resolved (I love you), on the paper. She began to think of the boy again. She did love him and maybe he loves her wouldn’t that be lucky. The Ace of clubs became the question that perplexed her mind she would ask him do you love me

You Keep Me Up At Night

When I lade down tonight to sleep I thought of you. Do you know you keep me up at night dreaming of you holding me tight? I look into your eyes and say I love you. Promise me you will always be here when I need to hold your hand. Please never leave me

When I open my eyes in the morning I lay there thinking about you and that wonderful dream. We walked through the park we kissed by the swings and I whispered in your ear. I love you and I never want you to leave.

Come Here My Love

I want to love him, to distract him from his pain, to make feel warm again. I don’t want to lose him to his anger. I want to hold his, to comfort him. I love him. Don’t dry my love. Don’t be sad love. I’m here my love. Oh my love come here let me hold you let me love you.

I Must Plea

11:05PM

08/06/09

I am in love with a boy whose heart is pure and love is true. How do I, with a chard heart, accept such love? It cannot be done with a kiss and a hug. I must throw myself at his feet and plea for him to forgive me.

Monkey Boy

Okay this evidently is a song! Don't ask me what I was on because I cant use that as an excuse.

V1
Deep in the jungle of Africa swings a monkey boy. I saw him once while I was on safari. He looked at me with his dark beady eyes. Slowly slowly he grinned at me. Then looked away and scratched his ear. He looked back at me then sprung in to the trees.

Chores

I’m going to set a trap for the monkey boy. Capture him and hold him on my lap. Cuddle him and sing to him. Capture and make…him.

Monkey gorilla ape noises

Scream sigh

Monkey gorilla ape noises

I’m in love with a monkey boy … Monkey boy.

V2

I’ve come back to the jungle of Africa to find the monkey boy, to live in the jungle with monkey boy.

Chores

I got lost deep in Africa. I stood looking up into the trees. I couldn’t see monkey boy I put my head down and started to cry. Monkey boy came through the trees he knocked me down and we … deep in the jungle of Africa.

Chores

Excess monkey noise

Less Lonely

10:17pm 07/24/09

I want you to come with me. I get lonely when you’re not with me. I still get lonely when you’re with me but the loneliness is less lonely.

Rancid Pill

10:32pm 07/24/09

I grab the cup of stale water beside my bed to take my pill.

I hold the pill next to my lips.

Breathing deeply wishing it was you.

I press it between the ruff of my mouth and my tongue.

Its bitterness seeps into my taste buds as I think of you.

I take a sip of water the rancid taste washes the bitterness out of my mouth.

I swallow and put my head on my pillow I close my eyes waiting for the darkness to envelope me.

As I wake the next morning over heated I sit up and reach for the thermostat at the end of my bed to turn it down.

It’s stuck it won’t budge.

I knew not to turn it up to ninety but I needed something to distract me from myself: something to distract me from you.

I lay back down wishing you were lying beside me.

I rest my hand on the wall touching it as I visualize your body.

I stiffen my fingers placing my nails on the wall threatening it to get away from me; demanding it not to be.

I lean forward and kiss it and turn away shamefully.

Am I still a child? How can I feel so foolishly? Why do I desire something that cannot be?

That Good Good Way You Make Me Feel!

That good good way you make me feel, when you wrap your arms around me, I get that good good way you make me feel.

When your lips touch mine I get that good good way you make me feel.

Like a strong bolt of lightning surging through my body, that good good way you make me feel, I love that good good way you make me feel, I need that good goods way you make me feel.